Well, well, well what did I say?

When I logged on to Gaydar after posting my previous blog, a very hot’n’horny guy had given me one of those flames, very flattering but where did he live, huh?

In Vancouver!

Further on after been on the site for three- four minutes I got a message from a couple who really wanted to play and take care of me as they so gently put it, and how old were they, huh?

51 and 57!

Actually if I should be totally honest here and this is really sad, but even the hookers on Gaydar do not reply to me when I message them:

How much do you charge?

I did plan to update my photos a few weeks ago and maybe funk them up with PhotoShop, but maybe no point of that, as my friend the Art Director said to me once:

-Marcus, even PhotoShop has it limits to create miracles!

Even though as I said I might not be too much into pulling on Gaydar it is always nice to get flatter and after all if the guy from Leeds or Vancouver would live in London and one of them would ask if he could come over I would with most certainty invite him. Or even better if both came over at the same time, guess only Heidi would understand my happiness since I would feel exactly the same gratefulness as she did when she was given those two Swiss Alps goats in the TV series in the end of the seventies

However the reality is that the men that do ring my doorbell is usually from British Gas wanting to read the meter or some daft guy that have decided to work for free to beg for some cash to save some poor village somewhere nowhere and they ain’t usually hunky dory according to my taste.

Anyway I am not here to talk about my sexual frustrations.

What I wanted to say is that despite my mixed feeling about Gaydar occasionally you do come across some profiles that really cracks you up. Not because they are tacky or awful in anyway, no just cuz they are full on pure hilarious according to me. People who just are themselves and obvious do not give a shit if some of the shallow queens who do take their Gaydar a little bit too serious will see them as somewhat a bit on the crazy side.

A few months ago I came across one of those and I showed Janne it immediately (or maybe it was the other way around) and we where on the floor in stitches. Of course I wouldn’t write what the guys profile is but these are some of the stuff he wrote on it:

About

I like animals cats, dogs and horses, I don’t like slugs, but I wouldn’t harm one. I like music, of all genres, with a leaning towards alternative stuff. I do like to go out dancing sometimes but there’s a time and a place, I don’t like Celine Dion, she is the musical equivalent of a slug. I like reading but I like looking at the pictures more, and I like my friends a lot. I really don’t like arrogance, but I do like confidence and humour goes a long way. Being handsome doesn’t make people sexy, sometimes it helps, but I prefer someone who’s got a bit more going on.

Looking for

I know it when I see it. I’m open to suggestions, surprise me! I like loads of different people for thousands of different reasons.

Here are some of the things I particularly like-

Sex, preferably versatile
Slug pellets
Good

If you like any of these things we probably will not get on-

Celine Dion
Rice pudding
Slugs
Crap films
Evil

Hobbies & Favourite things

I like to read, listen to music, watch TV, talk to my friends on the phone, visit places of interest, drink lager, or wine, or sometimes vodka, dance around clubs, walk, talk, eat, sleep and fuck. I don’t like having no money and rice pudding (yuk) so I stay away from rice pudding and I am finally earning again after a couple of years further education, hooray!

Food things you eat (who wrote these questions anyway?)
Music stuff you listen 2 (are they retarded?)
Author people who write books
Film good to watch (surely everyone knows this?)
Actor generally nice to look at
Actress female actors
TV Show things you watch on the television
Holiday Destination places to go to normally with sunshine
City a big place where lots of people live
Country an even bigger place
Club a thing to hit people with
Bar/Pub another thing to hit people with/ a place to drink

Of course people who don’t have the same humour as me will probably not think this is funny at all. If that is the case I will blame it on having high temperature and yet again spaced out thanks to that.

Unfortunately I can’t really blame my state on that since as soon as Nurse Hobbit heard about my high fever he ran over here with Nurofen Plus and Cold & Flu Relief tablets plus one of those sticks that takes your temperature, which showed 37.5!

What can I say:

Useless friend with an even useless thermometer........
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